Avengers: Age of Ultron – Quotes
Iron Man: S***
Captain America: Language!
Iron Man: …Wait a second. No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said “Language”?!
Captain America: I know; it just slipped out.
Pietro Maximoff: You didn’t see that coming?
Iron Man: And for gosh sakes, watch your language!
Iron Man: Guys wait, let’s talk this through…. [beats them up]… good talk!
Captive: No it wasn’t!
Iron Man: Please be a secret door. Please be a secret door. Please be a secret door. Yay!
Thor: Victory should be celebrated with revels.
Tony Stark: Who doesn’t love revels?
Avengers to Iron Man: You could have saved us. Why didn’t you do more?
Bruce Banner: You know, sometimes exactly what I want to hear isn’t exactly what I want to hear.
Tony Stark: Oh actually, he’s the boss. I just design everything, pay for everything and make everyone look good.
Maria Hill: He’s fast; she’s weird.
Maria Hill: They volunteered…nuts.
Captain America: Right. What sort of person would let a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country?
Helen: Unlike you, I don’t have a lot of time for parties. Will Thor be there?
Tony Stark: We don’t have time for a city hall debate... I see a coat of armor around the world...
Bruce Banner: Sounds like a cold war debate.
Thor (to Tony, on their girlfriends): But Jane’s better.
Natasha: Here comes this guy, spends his life avoiding the fight because he knows he’ll win…
Bruce Banner: Sounds amazing.
Natasha: He’s also a huge dork.
Captain America: I’ve seen her flirt, up close. This ain’t that. As maybe the world’s leading authority on waiting too long…don’t wait.
Bruce Banner: What do mean up close?
Natasha: How long till you trust me?
Bruce: It’s not you I don’t trust.
Ultron: There are no strings on me.
Tony Stark: You just roll over and show your underbelly whenever conflict comes up.
Bruce Banner: Only when I’ve created a murderbot.
Ultron: You want to protect the world but you don’t want it to change. How is the world supposed to be safe if you don’t want it to evolve?
Helen: You built this program? Why is it trying to kill us?
Ultron: Did you know that this church is the exact center of the city so that everyone can be equally close to God? I like that—the geometry of belief.
Ultron: Everyone creates the thing they dread. Men of peace create engines of war. invaders create avengers. People create... smaller people? Uhh. Children! [Laughs] Lost the word there. Children. Designed to supplant them. To help them... end.
Ultron: I think you’re confusing peace with quiet.
Ultron: I’m glad you asked that because I wanted to take the time to explain my evil plan.
Thor: The girl tried to warp my mind. Take care. I doubt a human mind could keep her at bay. Fortunately, I am mighty. [Loses his mind.]
Iron Man, while hitting Hulk: Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep.
Iron Man: Status report? [Hears static.] That was comprehensive.
Laura Barton: I see those guys, those gods…
Hawkeye: You don’t think they need me?
Laura: I think they do, and that’s a lot scarier. They're gods, and they need someone to keep them down to Earth.
Bruce: Natasha, where can I go? Where in the world am I not a threat?
Natasha: In the red room where I was trained, raised, we had a graduation ceremony. They sterilized you. It’s efficient… makes everything easier…even killing.
Laura: They’re a mess.
Hawkeye: Yeah, I guess they’re my mess.
Tony Stark: I don’t trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned.
Captain America: Every time someone tries to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.
Captain America: Earth’s mightiest heroes and they pulled us apart like cotton candy.
Tony Stark: Look, it’s been a really long day, like Eugene O’Neill long.
Erik Selvig: I like the look. If you’re going for inconspicuous though, near miss.
Fury: Guy’s multiplying faster than a catholic rabbit!
Fury: Down with the platinum bas****.
Natasha: Steve doesn’t like that kind of language.
Ultron: The most versatile substance on the planet, and they used it to make a Frisbee. Typical humans. They scratch the surface and never think to look within.
Captain America: You know, I miss the days when the weirdest thing science created was me.
Ultron: When the earth starts to settle, God throws a stone at it. And believe me, He’s winding up.
Wanda Maximoff: Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it. Where do you think he got that?
Iron Man: You have to trust me.
Bruce Banner: Kind of don’t.
Bruce Banner: You want me to help you put this into there?
Tony Stark: Of course not. I want to help you do that. It’s out of my expertise.
Ultron: I think a lot about meteors. Boom! The end starts again.
Captain America: I’m only going to say this once.
Tony Stark: How about nunce?
Thor: Stark is right.
Bruce Banner: Oh it’s definitely the end times.
Tony Stark: Iron Man is what he’s waiting for.
Vision: That’s true. He hates you most.
Vision: I don’t want to kill Ultron. He's unique... and he's in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth. So he must be destroyed: every form he's built, every trace of his presence on the 'net. We have to act now, and not one of us can do it without the others. Maybe I am a monster. I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are and not what you intended. So there may be no way to make you trust me.
Captain America: You get hurt, hurt ‘em back. You get killed…walk it off.
Captain America: Ultron thinks we’re monsters. We’re what’s wrong with the world. This isn’t just about beating him. It’s about whether he’s right.
Iron Man: Have you been juicing? You’re looking puffy.
Hawkeye: It’s your fault and it’s everyone’s fault. Who cares? Look, are you up to this? I need to know because the city is flying and I’m fighting robots with a bow and arrow. Nothing makes sense. I can’t stay in here and babysit. So stay in here, you’re good. Your brother will come back and get you. But go out those doors, it doesn’t matter what you did or who you were, you step out those doors, you are an avenger.
Hawkeye: Nobody would know, nobody would know. Last time I saw him, Ultron was sitting on him. I miss him already, quick little bas****.
Captain America: I asked for a solution, not an escape plan.
Captain America: Fury, you son of a b****.
Fury: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Vision: Terribly well balanced.
Thor: Well, if there’s too much weight, you lose power on the swing so…
Ultron: Thor, you are bothering me.
Ultron: You know, with the benefit of hindsight…
Pietro Maximoff: You didn’t see that coming.
Vision: Order and chaos. Humans are odd, they think they are somehow opposites.
Vision: There is grace in their failings. I think you missed that.
Vision: A thing isn’t beautiful because it lasts.
Ultron: You’re naïve. Vision: Well, I was born yesterday.
Fury: You never know. You hope for the best and make do with what you get.
Iron Man/ Captain America: But if you put the hammer in an elevator, it would still go up. …Elevator’s not worthy.
Thor, regarding Tony Stark: Besides this one, there’s nothing that can’t be explained.
Tony Stark, regarding Thor: That guy has no regard for lawn maintenance.