The LEGO Batman Movie – Quotes
Batman: Black. All important movies start with a black screen. And music. Dark, edgy music that makes your parents nervous.
Batman: Warner bros. Or brothers. I don’t know.
Batman: If you want to make the world a better place, take a look in the mirror and change yourself.
Joker: You’re supposed to be scared.
Pilot: Why should I be?
Joker: Because I’m going to take over the city.
Pilot: No, you’re not. Batman always stops you.
Pilot: Good gosh! You took out the bat signal? You have thought of everything.
Batman: I don’t currently have a bad guy. I’m fighting lots of bad guys. I’m fighting around.
Batman: Batman doesn’t do “ships”—relationships. … There is no “us”. You mean nothing to me. No one does.
Batman: Thank you. I’m blushing super hard under the hat.
Batman: Remember kids, if you want to be like Batman, take care of your abs.
‘Puter: What is the password?
‘Puter: Thank you.
Batman: Hey mom, hey dad, I uh…I saved the city again today. I wish you could’ve seen me.
Alfred: Don’t you think it’s time you finally faced your biggest fear?
Alfred: No…. being part of a family.
Batman: Nope. Now it’s snake-clowns because you put it there.
Richard: Bryce Wayne! He’s the greatest orphan of all time!
Richard: All I want is to be adopted so I can stop being alone.
Barbara: It’s called, “It takes a village not a Batman.”
Barbara: We don’t need an unsupervised man karate chopping bad guys.
Batman’s happiness index chart—his happiness declines as “hours without crime” increases.
Batman: Batman works alone. That’s my motto. Copyright Batman.
Batman: My secret password – you mean “AlfredtheButtler” with 2 t’s?! Ha ha ha ha.
Batman: Listen, you don’t have a family. You’re satisfied serving me, Alfred.
Richard: Does Batman live in Bruce Wayne’s basement?
Batman: No. Bruce Wayne lives in Batman’s attic.
‘Puter: Chance of failure, 110%.
Batman: Those are not great odds, ‘Puter.
Batman: How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met.
Batman: Don’t call me Dad.
Richard: Yes Papa.
Batman: Papa falls into the dad category.
Richard: Robin, as in the smart, frail, Midwestern bird?
Batman to Joker: I see what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to entrap me into a relationship.
Barbara: You can’t be a hero if you only care about yourself.
Those creatures out there are unlike anything you’ve ever seen.
Speak for yourself. You don’t know everything I’ve seen.
Richard: Your #2 needs to go #1. ... [And a few minutes later:] Good news—our bathroom problem is solved. [i.e. He just peed his pants.]
Joker: Do you realize, [in all these years], you’ve never once said, “I hate you, Joker.”? Listen to this, “I hate you, Batman.” Now your turn.
Batman: Me too.
Joker: I am not going to be part of a one-sided relationship any longer. I’m moving out, and on the way, I’m going to blow up Gotham.
Phyllis (the scanner in the sky): Huh, you’re not a traditional bad guy, but you’re not exactly a good guy, either.
Batman: I was afraid of feeling the pain you feel when you lose someone close to you.
Batman: Ok, we are going to hit these guys so hard words are going to spontaneously materialize out of thin air.
Batman: We’re going to stick together using our heads and the most powerful tool of all, abs of steel.
Batman: If you help me save Gotham, you’ll help me save “us”.
Joker: You just said “us”.
Batman: What do you say?
Joker: You had me at “shut up.”
Batman: I’m just going to come right out and say it: I hate you, Joker.
Joker: Oh! I hate you more.
Batman: I hate you most.
Batman: Don’t call me Padre, call me – Dads.
Richard: Huh? My two dads are the same!
Batman: Do you have a knife? Because someone needs to cut the tension between us.
Phyllis: I finally saw a man who saw something wrong with the world and changed himself to fix it.
Richard: Holy family photo, Batman! I love it!
Batman: All important movies end with a white screen…